All a sparkle...

The Photo that follows was taken by my wife - Sarah - (not her real name..) at her workplace this morning. Wellington harbour. 5th of May 2017 at around 11:00. Not a cloud in the sky, placid clear harbour waters and long shadows mask the icy icy cold temperature today. About 3 deg Centigrade. Those of you from Canada will laugh at that temperature as you get real professional-grade cold weather there not this excuse for cold weather. But there was frost around this morning and when the wind drifts by best you have a warm jacket and beanie on...
The photo LOOKS great and it reminds me of probably what I look like too; ok'ish. Last week I had a rabid flu that finally took antibiotics to defeat it and one night I woke up unable to breathe at all. It was only after severely thrashing around in a panic that I managed to gasp in air. The next day someone called me and had to ask to speak to me while I battled to convince them that it was in fact me talking - or trying to talk. Anyway. Much much better now.
After I was diagnosed with ms, the ms nurse hooked me up with a rollator from her stock. It was very solidly made from either cast iron or depleted uranium and weighed about 150kg. It refused to fold up smaller than a small caravan and when I called a taxi had to make sure that the car coming for me was able to handle this chunk of mangled metal pipes. 
After a few months I started looking into getting a replacement for me that was more aesthetically and practically pleasing. I immediately liked a thing called a Rollz - - but it is hideously expensive and seemed more fashion-statement than practical apparatus so I gave that a miss. Next up was a device called a Server - . It's made somewhere reassuring like Luxembourg or Sweden and much cheaper than the Rollz, so I decided to buy it. 
It arrived in a wonderfully fetching baby-shit brown colour, that was evidently the proper colour for the machine that someone of my height and weight would use. As much as I loathe the colour it is a fantastic machine. My son saw the circular red-reflectors in the handles and said: "cool...lasers' so it was a keeper.
It weighs around 6kg and is very sparsely made but has rubber tyres for wet surfaces and good brakes. The seat on the other machine was solid wood with padding and this seat is plasticated webbing. It folds down flat in seconds and fits in any car boot - very practical, plus the brakes lock it solid and even when I am battling to stagger about it supports me properly. I took a while to adapt to the idea of actually NEEDING this thing and I battled about without it for a few years prior while I convinced myself that it was something that I would 'get-over' needing eventually. Society has conditioned us horribly, to the point where it is seen as a 'last-resort' to actually need something like a rollator or crutches or a wheelchair. Meanwhile, these things actually help to make your life EASIER not more difficult, and time spent getting to use them and overcoming society's misconstrued preconceptions is well-worth it for anyone actually needing to use any of these aids - as that is what they are. They help to make your life easier and that is what its all about, and the only thing that matters. I went to see a psychiatrist a few years back and there was a queue in the waiting room to see her this was socially acceptable and not disparaged by society so why not other aids? Why are 'disabled' people and their aids seen as something to be feared, banished or hidden - I certainly don't celebrate what this disease has done to me nor wish it on anyone -  but I refuse to be ruled anymore by the notion that it is a thing of pity/scorn/fear. 
It's just life.


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